dollar general

my room is a wreck!
i finally found a hat that fits right :D
I bought a cute little scarecrow girl at dollar general and she's outside of my room
i haven't made my coffee right in a while :/


CONGRATS TO MIR AND SAM!!!!! AHHH I CANT WAIT, I CANT BELIEVE IT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. LOL ILL BE HONEST AND SAY I AM A LITTLE ENVIOUS BECAUSE I WANT THAT NOW TOO. ITS OK OUR TIME WILL COME BABE. I LOVE YOU TWO SOON-TO-BE-MARRIED...I FEEL TOTALLY BLESSED TO BE ALLOWED TO SHARE THIS BEAUTIFUL TIME WITH YOU.

bINK
i get carrried away by the look by the light in your eyes
montana and wyoming sound perfect right now.
i miss going to wild west all the time and being spun by my cowboy all night.
i want andi here soooo bad lol i think i tell you that a little too much but it is going to be the time of your life baby girl..we will have a blast i promise ;D

i love you

it hit me fast

looking at pictures on andi's myspace made me come really close to crying. seeing my trace, he is saying those things now, growing. it literally breaks my heart and gives me a lump in my throat to know that i'm not there to watch him every other thursay with my dad.
seeing pics of her and holden. omg that's even worse. i feel like i'm failing you as a sister because i'm not there to here you talk late at night about your worries, doubts, excitement, butterflies, etc.
i'm so sorry baby girl. i'm crying here in the office, i hope no residents or my superviors walk by to see the wreck i'm in right now.
I miss mira and sam. the sillines. lost episodes late at night that i never watched but i knew were playing in the den.

mom and dad's rosaries and garage sale shopping early saturday mornings....ouch that one really hurts

I do love it here but it depresses me when i don't find things out about the house or family for days or weeks.
i miss my house. my dogs :'(.

matthew, i hate not seeing him for lunch. i miss the perfect drive to his house. the smell and feel of his home. lady, yeaa i miss her too. but my matter i'm not right without.

oh goodnes it is sooooo good that tomorrow most of these things will be fixed. just tell my house and the people that are usually there that little miss B is fine but a little homesick :(((

New beginnings...how cliche

Life is pretty darn awesome right now. Me and my matter are loving each more than ever and growing constantly. I see my sisters tomorrow and get to spend the day with them. My parents love and miss me. I have amazing friends on staff. Training and most of check-in is finished. I have a meeting with the equestrian coach on friday. I am in the process of changing my major to Multidisiplinary Studies. My car works and I can drive it. It has been raining. I am madly in love.
I can start attending daily mass and student mass again. I'm listening to some pretty awesome oldies. I love how my room is decorated. I have about $650 on my meal plan for this semester (:D). I love God and he loves me.

Thanks for reading me and smiling at how well my life is.
See you soon I hope :)

binki stinky

Comma

I am down again. Yesterday I was content and okay. Today, right now any way I am upset. I hate this. I hate how I feel. I hate how I can't just drive because I would be breaking the law. I'd like to get dressed up and make myself look decent, drive somewhere in town to get someting new (a shirt, purse, jeans), eat an entire large funnel cake by myself, and then do whatever else comes to mind. Merely because I want to and because I don't think anyone can help me right now. I would also like to just be at home with my parents on a Saturday morning alone. I wake up and look out the front door to see them with rosaries and a prayer book sitting in those white chairs. I love you mom and dad more than I tell you. I love spoiling them. Getting my dad a cold drink while he is working on the yard, moving the fan to where it hits him perfectly, getting on to him for spending to much time in the heat, ironing his clothes, rubbing lotion on his feet. Telling my mom all of my problems, concerns, fears, excitements, joys, reading spirtiual messages to her or from her, love her like no one else, clean for her, try to cook for her.

I feel better now and I just realized that paragraph had a ton of commas,,,,,,
Thank you for reading this :)
Bink

is any one alive out there? (titanic)

No one reads my stuff. It's sad. lol and i just like finding pictures.

Life is good right now. for the most part. I am extremely concerned about bills right now and something else

I am ready for Lubbock I think but I will hate not having him 10 minutes away at all times. we will be fine though. I love the way we love, and things have gotten so much better. I know I shouldn't but i kind of want to ask if i'm going to get something. lol. things have changed, my perspectives definitely. I used to compare him to others and now i see compare people to him. i have opened up to samy alot more. i want sam to be honest with me like he asked me to be with him. let me know if something comes up, not that he hasn't but i wonder if he would. maybe he would tell mir and then she'd tell me. the exact opposite of what he wants me to do. we're doing great though :) and i am content.

i am so relieved to finally have my ticket taken care of..and now that anxiety has been transferred to the bills that appear from no where. Lord please help me.

goodnight.

My Cowboy

Matthew,
You will never understand how I love you.
When we are apart my day cannot be perfect.
I think of you one hundred times more than I tell you.
I dream about our future even more and worry about how far it seems.
You're my best friend baby.
There isn't anything I can't tell you. Nothing I don't tell. Everything I want to tell you. And something I will always tell you.
I love you more.
I want to be your wife and stay up late at night talking in bed about the kids, work, family, our dreams, fears, love, life.
I want to cook meals for you and cry because I know they aren't good enough.
I want to be held in your arms when I am terrified, nervous, worthless, unheard, sorry, angry, and excited.
I want to dance with you at our wedding and have people amazed that we have been together for so long.
I want little kids in grocery stores to stare at us and get excited about when they get older.
I want to see your strong arms carrying our tiny daughter.
I want to see our children run around the house because they don't want double T time.
I want you to look at me every now and then and remember why you fell for me in 8th grade at Bowie Junior High School.

I love you forever.
Bianca Maria Garcia

He is HERE!!!

Papa Benny is finally in the U.S.!!!
I wish I could be there, listen to his wisdom, glance at his grace. This man is truly the closest thing we have to Jesus Christ, he is carrying on the church, when Jesus said to Peter, "You are the rock on which I build my church," this is exactly what he was talking about!
Yay!!!

He seemed to have come at a perfect time, my stress level has dropped dramatically and I would seriously consider sacrificing something major in order to even be in the same state as he.

I pray that he is kept safe and respected while on his visit. I pray his visit reinforces the traditional Roman Catholic faith, not the loose, do what you want American version. I congratulate any one that is able to be there and I pray that one day I will find a way to travel to the Vatican.

I love you Papa Benny!